Personal Column: You are your biggest critic

Romeeka Siddiqui is a sophomore on staff
I just sat there in my room crying. It was another one of those nights that I felt worthless. I didn’t feel good enough. I didn’t feel like I belonged in this world. I am sure I share these feelings with more teenagers as well. I have self confidence issues from time to time as a teenager. Sometimes I simply stare at the faces that pass me by in the hallways and ask myself why I’m not like them. I wonder why I’m not as pretty as the other girls. When I don’t get something in class and I see other people understanding the concept, I feel dumb and ashamed.

I know it sounds like I’m depressed and absolutely hate myself. But that’s not the case. I DO love my life and I know I am extremely blessed, but I just seem to forget it sometimes. I forget that having a house to live in is a blessing. I forget about the kids in other parts in the world who only eat one meal a day and are still satisfied. I forget that having a family is a blessing that some people would give up anything for in this world. All of these things are things I take for granted every single day, and I know it. Yet I still have days where I feel like I want more in life.

I use to think I was the only person in this world who felt this way. Inside I feel like an old lady on her deathbed, looking back on her life and reminiscing what she did in life and what she could have changed. When in reality, I am very young and have a long way to go. I know that five years from now, my life will not be the same as what it is at this very moment. I will be in college with a whole new set of friends and classmates. I will be living a totally different life.

We must realize that LIFE IS NOT JUST HIGH SCHOOL. One day, we will move on and experience new things. So all the people who put you down and make you feel worthless, forget about them because they are not worth your time and education. Once you’re out of High School, the chances of meeting a classmate you see everyday now are highly unlikely. They are just bullies who don’t have anything better to do than put others down because they don’t feel good about themselves. They don’t realize what type of affect they have on people and how their actions can push people off the edge to the point where they hate, and sometimes even kill, themselves.

These four years of your life are all about growing as a person and figuring out who you are and who you want to be. I use to hear this all the time last year as a freshman, but never fully understood the importance of these words until now. Now I get it. You really do find yourself in High School. In just two years, I have discovered so many things about myself. It scares me just thinking about what I will discover in the next few years.

Life is too short to mourn over the past and try to be somebody you are not. Move on and be YOU. There is not a singe person on this planet that looks exactly like you, acts like you and has the same ideas as you. So why not embrace yourself? Share your ideas with the world and feel good about life.

When I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see, I simply tell myself that God made me this way with love and he has bigger plans for me. I feel like a lot of people would be shocked to hear some of the thoughts that go through my mind because I shield my insecurities from everyone else. But the truth of the matter is, so many other people do too. It is not possible for anyone in this world to feel like their life is perfect. We all go through tough times and overcome the obstacles that come our way at some point in life but at the end of the day, everything turns out fine.