The last movie you’ll want to see

The movie poster for the newest PG-13 Thriller, "The Last Exorcism" in theaters now.

The tagline for the newest PG-13 horror,” The Last Exorcism” is “If you believe in God, you believe in the Devil.” But, if you believe in a good scary movie, then you don’t believe in seeing this one.

“The Last Exorcism” was like watching a bad M. Night Shyamalan movie. Actually, it was like watching every M. Night Shyamalan, being set up for a good fun show and then being utterly disappointed in the end. And unlike in “Avatar: The Last Airbender” there weren’t any half-decent action shots to distract from the monstrosity of the actual acting or storyline.

First off, ‘The Blair Witch Project” did the whole documentary thing best. “Paranormal Activity” killed the whole idea behind it with its upcoming sequel. “The Last Exorcism” did not miraculously bring it back. Now, please directors of Hollywood, forget the thought that shaky camera angles means that the viewers will be more involved in the movie.

They won’t.

Second, it’s okay to get experienced actors sometimes. While Ashley Bell was terrific with her back-bending moves (yes that was really all her bending!) and scary faces, Cotton Marcus, the priest, played by Patrick Fabian was rather annoying. The worst was the disembodied voice that was behind the camera. There was no person, just a voice, maybe a slight glimpse of a body. If anything that was the scariest part of the movie.

For thrills, everything was given to you before it happened. It was if the actors had to stop and explain to you what was going on and so you lost all suspense because you listened to them explain it. Not only that but the plot didn’t seem to know where it was going. Is she crazy? Is she possessed? Is CGI’d fire the answer to everything? By the end, who knew and who cared?

Perhaps it would’ve been a good movie if they didn’t have such a cheap budget and like all super cheap movies add half-done special effects the ending. The only props that should be given to this movie is that the directors did start with a new twist for the exorcism movie genre.

2 out of 5 panther paws