Personal Column: Why does color matter in a relationship, we are all God’s children


Kennedy Stidham- Managing Editor

“You are going against the will of God. If God wanted whites to marry blacks He would’ve made us all the same color.”  The words, coated with poisonous judgement, stung. I stared at her, dumbfounded as how to respond to the ignorance that just left her mouth. I knew she did not approve of my interracial relationship, but these words took disapproval to a completely new level.

I’m used to everyone sticking their nose into our business. “Do your parents know? Have they met him? Do they like him?” They all beat around the bush, never coming out and asking what they really want to know: Are my parents okay with me dating a “black boy”? Others treat us like we are a spectacle. “Aw, you two are an interracial couple. How cute!” or “Your mixed children would be so cute.”

Girls always want to know, “Do you just like black guys?” or “What’s wrong with your own race?” These questions take me aback. Why would I date a person for their skin color? Why would I not date a person because of their skin color? I guess I have more substance than the rest of the world because I’m able to see past a pigment and appreciate a person for who they are. I barely notice that my boyfriend and I are different. Instead, I know we both like super heroes and comedies. We laugh together, support each other and bring out the best in each other. Most importantly, he’s my best friend, and I like him for him. That’s all that matters.

After nearly three years, I’m used to these comments. I brush them off without much thought. But the strongly opinionated words of my grandmother were harder to swallow. Not because there’s any sense of truth to them, but because they were a personal attack on my beliefs coming from the person who is supposed to teach me wrong from right.

I get the reasoning behind her prejudice. Being a child of the 40s, she was born into a world full of bias and separation. Those responsible for teaching her ethics were confused themselves. As far as excuses go, that one’s understandable, but it is in no way justifiable. Her use of God as a justification of hatred reflects a complete misunderstanding of Him. He is a symbol of love, compassion, and acceptance. No where in The Bible does it say a single word that suggests racial inequality. No where does it say or imply that people of different races should not be in relationship. The Bible does not say, “Love thy white neighbor” or “Love thy neighbor but only if they are the same color as you”… It simply says “Love thy neighbor”. Love should not be exclusive; that is not the way He wanted it.

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” 1 John 4:18 (NIV)