Personal Column: The drive for success

Kennedy+Stidham-+Managing+Editor

Kennedy Stidham- Managing Editor

Kennedy Stidham- Managing Editor

The wire on which I stand trembles with even the smallest breath I take. There’s no room for errors. Perfection is a must.

I hear every response of the crowd below me: the cheers of those who believe in me, the gasps of those who are watching in amazement, the snickers of those who are anticipating my fall. All at once I feel:  Stress. Pressure. Fear. Hopelessness.

I wake up, but this nightmare doesn’t end. Every day of my life is a walk on the tight rope, juggling my honors classes, two leadership positions, two other extra curricular activities, as well as my personal life. My average day of school is 10, 11, or 12 hours long. And then once I get home, its hours of homework, studying, writing, helping others, and a few of hours of sleeping somewhere after all of that. I know I’m crazy to put myself through this, but I do it to satisfy the voice in my head that tells me, work harder, do more, don’t just be better – be the best.

Just like every human, I sometimes momentarily lose sight of the finish line, and wonder: how bad will this fall hurt? What will my spectators think of me? What will failure feel like? But the answers are too hard for me to imagine. I have to pull myself together and focus on the things that will keep me up: Balance. Poise. Courage. Determination.

I close my eyes, say a prayer, and wait for stability to return.  I count to three before I make my next move, and just like that, I am a few centimeters closer to the finish line. I have to believe that I will eventually make it there…

One. Step. At. A. Time.